“Let’s just deal with it tomorrow. I’ll just tell them I was just joking around. We should all have a good rest first. We all have to return to Korea for the photo shoot and Hana has to go back to YG to train. If the paparazzi are waiting for us downstairs or at the airport just tell them that I was joking to see if Hana was really serious about joining YG. Tell them it was planned by all of us to trick Hana.” Ji Yong said hoping that the plan would work.

“Ahh. What if the plan doesn’t work? Wah What will I do? I mean nothing matters about my reputation but what about you?”Hana questioned with a desperate voice.

G-Dragon stated confident, “Don’t worry. Nothing is going to happen to us because we are…” Together they shouted, “BIG BANG”

“Hana nuna, you should get some rest first. We can deal with it tomorrow.” Tae Yang said with his smiling eyes which filled the room with kindness and warmth.

“We should leave you to love birds to talk.” Dae Sung joked smiling that same smile everybody knew.

Everybody left except Seung Hyun Oppa. I started to feel so embarrassed. I could feel the heat rise on my cheeks. I was probably as red as an apple. It was very quiet until Seung Hyun Oppa broke the silence, “Ummm… so Ji Yong already knew. Damn. I wanted to tell you myself. I Love─”

Without thinking I leaned in to kiss him. My lips pressed against his soft lips, leaving a shiny layer of lip gloss on his lip. And I whispered into his ear, “You.”, finishing off his confession. He stood there dumfounded. Immediately I was feeling embarrassed thinking about what I had just done. I started pushing him out of the room with my head facing the carpeted floor while saying to him, “Okay. Bye. Ummm… I’m tired now goodnight.” It was a lie of course. I knew that tonight I wouldn’t be able to sleep.  

“Wait can’t I stay here─” The door slammed shut. Leaning against the door, I sat down on to the floor. How could I do that?  I didn’t know I was going to do that. Ahh! What am I going to do tomorrow? It’ll be so awkward talking to each other. I tried to slap myself out from my daze. I got off the floor and went to bed not able to sleep a wink. 

                “Please, can you let me stay like this for a moment?”I muttered my voice stifled by his clothing. He turned to look at me and wrapped his arms around me. In his arms I felt warm and safe. It felt like nothing could break us apart. Of course this wouldn’t be true. Nothing can be perfect in life. After standing in the room for awhile with his arms around me, there came a knocking at the door.

                “Hey Hana? Are you there? I came to say sorry for what I said.”G-Dragons voice made me come out of my trance. I quickly released my arms around Top and mumbled sorry to him. “Ummm, Yeah hold on!”  “Top-shii. Where should I hide you? You have to hide. What if he gets mad again?” Nervous, I looked around the room trying to find a place where Top could hide. Ahh! “Seung Hyun, hurry go under the bed!” He tried fitting under the bed but since he was too tall his legs stuck out at the end. I tried to hide my laughter. “Oy. I know that TOP is in there. There is no need to hide him. I am not mad or anything.”

                I glanced over to where Top was and we gave each other a worried expression. I opened the door and let Ji Yong into the room.  When he saw Top’s leg sticking out at the end of the bed, he bursted into laughter. He laughed so much that tears filled his eyes and his stomach started to ache. I just stood there dumbfounded. He wasn’t mad??

                “Noona, you don’t need to be so tense. I just came to see how Top and you were doing. I didn’t come in at the wrong time did I?” GD questioned. He didn’t wait for me to answer and just said, “I’m not mad seriously. I just helped set you guys up. I knew that Top liked Hana and Hana liked Top. I wanted to get Hana thinking seriously about whether she truly loved Top-shii or idolized him. I knew she was confused so I said that. Top-shii, I knew you liked Hana a long because you had the glimmer in your eyes whenever you saw her. You were such a shy guy so I wanted to give you a boost. I guess our plans worked right guys?”

                Tae Yang, Dae Sung, and Seung Ri came into the room as if what GD said was a cue. “Phew, I was about to tell TOP before because I thought he was going to beat you up.”Seung RI said. “It was so funny to see GD all serious and being mad and even thinking about quitting.” Dae Sung with his big smile on his face. “At first I thought you were being serious man. I was about to go over and slap you because you said you were quitting.”Tae Yang said. “That is so mean! I was hurt by what GD said. But thank goodness it was all an act!”I assumed.  “Where is Top?”Tae Yang questioned.

            *Continuation of Flashback*

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!” I quickly jumped up in terror to find out it was Hana screaming. “Wha-What happened?”I asked terrified wondering why she screamed. “Where am I and why are you next to me!” I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. My sister barged into the room and yelled at me, “Seung Hyun! I told you to sleep on the couch didn’t I? Why were you placing your head on the side of the bed!”

“Noona I’m sorry. I was really tired and I quickly fell into a deep sleep. I wanted to just take a nap.”
           “Who dressed me?”Hana asked alarmed. She quickly placed her eyes on me and kicked really hard in the area that no one, whether a girl or boy, under any circumstance, should ever kick.
           “Gah! I didn’t see anything! My sister dressed you. I even saved you! What did I ever do to deserve this?” I screamed lying on the floor hurt.
          “It’s true. You were drunk yesterday night and my brother here, brought you home. I was the one that dressed you. Sorry if you didn’t like me dressing you.  Jwesongheyo!” Hye Yoon said repentantly while bowing deeply.
             “Eh? No I am sorry for yelling at you before knowing the facts. I am sorry for intruding like this and kicking you. Jwesongheyo!” Hana quickly got out of bed and bowed to us.
           “I should leave now.” “Hana, wait would you like to stay for breakfast at least?” I said pleadingly, wanting her to stay longer. “No, I should leave. I am an intruder.”She responded feeling sorry for what she had done.
          “Come on we are friends now right? It’s not like we are strangers. I mean I saw your body.” Hye Yoon added giggling with an evil smile. Hana turned bright red.
           “Noona!”I yelled."  I was kidding with her. I’m not mean. Okay?”
               “Fine, I’ll stay here for a while.” Hana muttered.

*End of Flashback*

“We even hung out after that day. I started to develop feelings for you and asked you out. You accepted my feelings for you and I thought I was the happiest man alive, however; you suddenly disappeared during April. The day before you left, we had an argument and thinking that that was the reason, I tried searching for you. I went to your school and asked your friends. They told me you were nowhere to be found.”

“I went all over the place and finally asking your landlord, I found an answer. She told me you had moved to another country. I was stunned by the answer and I wouldn’t give up finding you so I went to YG Entertainment to become famous. I wanted to find you no matter what and I thought that if I were to become famous, I would be able to find you. I would travel all over the world just to find you.”

 “Finally, when I saw you at the President’s office of YG Entertainment, I was overwhelmed. I thought you came to find me, but you weren’t. You forgot about me and I was heartbroken. The chance for me to talk to you came by when you became involved with our music video but yet again, my chance was taken away. G-Dragon became fond of you and wanted to confess to you. I couldn’t stand that my chance was going to be thrown away if you ever like him, but luckily you didn’t.  That’s all I wanted to say. I just wanted to hear your voice again and to let you know that I was thinking about you all along, even though you had forgotten about me.”

“What the hell…………..I don’t have any recollection of meeting you though. “O mo, I did lose some memories of when I was in Korea because of a car accident. Can you tell me how we met? Maybe I could remember after you tell me.” ,I asked intriguingly. I was excited to hear that I knew him way before he was a famous rapper. “Thank goodness. I thought you left me because you were mad at me. I can remember that day clearly. On November 8, 2004, I was at an underground performance because at that time I was just an underground rapper. After my performance was over I was about to go home but then there was a girl puking on the sidewalk. It was you.”

*Flashback*

“Hey girl! What’s your name? You seem a little sick.” Choi Seung Hyun asked. “My name is Hana. I’m okay.*barf*Leave me alone.” The puking girl said furiously. Then all of a sudden she fainted. Of course I couldn’t leave her alone on the streets so I thought of taking her home. It was quite an embarrassing ride back home with a drunk girl in my arms.

“Uhm Ma! Noona! Help please. This girl, Hana, fainted on the streets. I think she drank too much.” “Oy, Seung Hyun! Bring her to your room. I’ll go get some hot water. Uhm Ma, get me a towel.” I carried her upstairs to my room and laid her onto my bed. I quickly cleaned up my room not wanting my Noona to yell at me.     

            “Maknae, get out of the room. I need to change her clothes and wash it because it smells like beer and barf.”Hye Yoon Noona said happily. Noona is probably happy because she gets to dress Hana in her newest creation. My noona has very good sense in fashion and wants to become a fashion designer. I think that she could become a great one. She always worries about how I look because she doesn’t think I am good looking. Ha! I think I am though. (My own little secret)

            “Maknae, you will be sleeping on the couch today since your guest is staying here today. Noona is going to go to sleep now and tomorrow since there is no school, please prepare breakfast for Hana. Uhm Ma, you should go to sleep now since it’s already so late.”

            I peered into the room to find a very beautiful girl on the bed. I walked closer to the bed to find that Noona dressed her in a pink, frilly sleeping gown. What’s with her! She thinks she can dress her in anything she wants. Whatever, I’ll forgive her since Hana looks so pretty in it. *Yawn* So tired  now. I guess I’ll just take a nap on the side of the bed.



Uhm Ma-Mother

            Oh My God! What did I do! Ugh what is going to happen now? Why did it have to happen like that.

I was sitting in the car with Dae Sung and Seung Ri. It was so quiet and it was awkward like as if I was sitting in a car filled with strangers. Were they mad at me? Are they not going to talk to me anymore? It’s okay for them to blame it on me. It was my fault. If only I liked Ji Yong instead.

I stared out into the road. The light from the lamp posts reflected against the windows of the car. It seemed somewhat gloomy the way the shadows formed.  

            We arrived in front of a hotel and I went straight to my room. Dae Sung and Seung Ri went to find GD in his room. Sitting by the window, I looked out into the vast area of Tokyo. Every building was filled with light. It reminded me of New York, a city which never sleeps. I miss my family so much. I wish I could see them but of course I chose this path to try out for YG Entertainment. I can’t back down now.

I was about to go to bed when I heard a knocking at my door. “Sore ha dare de aru ka?”(Who is it?)

“Sore ha Choi Seung Hyun de aru.”(It is Choi Seung Hyun.)

“Umm…. Hold on!” I ran to get the door. I opened rather too quickly and the door slammed right against the wall, leaving a huge dent.  Gah! How can my life get any worse?!!

            Embarrassed, I felt my face turn hot. It is probably really red around my cheeks right now. I heard TOP laugh. He tried to cover up his laughter by coughing but it was kind of obvious he was laughing at me.

“Can I come in? I just want to talk to you.” He asked politely just like a gentleman.

“Uh…yeah umm… sure.” I moved aside to let him in to my hotel room. He walked to the brown colored sofa to and plopped himself down. I shut the door behind me and sat on the far right side of the sofa. The room was filled with an awkward aura because it was only TOP and I in the room.   

“I want to ask you something. Can you please answer honestly?”Seung Hyun asked with one eyebrow raised.

            “I guess.” I answered afraid of what the questions would contain.

“Do you remember me?”He asked straightforwardly. 

Confused I answered, “Of course I do. Come on, who could forget you. You’re a member of Big Bang. Your famous. Who could—”

“No, I mean way before I was a member of Big Bang. We met when we were in high school before you moved away from Korea.” How does he know I moved? We met before?

He brought me to another dining room and sat me down. “I know you’re my noona, but I don’t really care that you’re older than me. I really like you ever since I met you. When you tried out for the music video, I thought you were beautiful and innocent. You seemed kind and friendly. Would you like to go out with me?” Ji Yong blurted out in one breath. Out of breath he stared at me with a cute expression like ones in the Lollipop CF. What should I tell him? I know I only thought of him as a friend and nothing more. I don’t want to hurt him.

“Ji Yong, I am sorry but, I can’t accept your feelings for me. I know that there is a girl out there who will really love you. Anybody would be happy to hear a confession from you, Leader of Big Bang, but I don’t like you as more than a friend. I am really sorry!” I looked down at my feet afraid that I my words hurt him.”

“You like TOP don’t you? Don’t You! AH! Why do you like him! I can tell that you like him.” Before I could say anything he quickly added with rage, “You would always stare at him. We read some of your fan letters and they always stated that TOP-shii was your favorite member. Don’t confuse your idol love with real love Hana! You just think that you love him but you actually idolize him!” Breathing hard, he ran out in anger after stating what he said. People stared at me as if I was a person from another planet. His words pierced through my heart like the time when I was rejected by the boy I loved so much.  Was our friendship over? What was going to happen now?

“Ji Yong! Ji Yong!”Tae Yang ran after GD and looked back at me.

“Are you okay? Don’t worry about him. He is just depressed that you don’t like him more than a friend.” Dae Sung said.

“Noona, we’ll bring you back home first.” Seung Ri insisted with a worried expression.

It was already dark out and we were about to get into the car when we saw Seung Hyun and Ji Yong argue. “Why’d you do that? Why can’t accept her feelings. You can’t get everything your way Ji Yong. You’re the leader. You’re supposed to be the role model for us. You can’t be selfish!” Choi Seung Hyun shouted at Kwon Ji Yong.

“Well then, I quit being the leader. I quit being with Big Bang. I don’t f**king care what happens anymore.”

We walked into a restaurant that had low dimed lights and we were seated in a private room. I was sitting next to G-D and T.O.P. Red wine was served and 7 different dishes were given. While we were eating, G-Dragon was talking to me and I felt awkward with him. He didn’t make my heart beat fast and I didn’t blush at the sight of him. I knew I didn’t love him more than a friend. How would I tell him if he were to like me? Nah he probably doesn’t. Why would somebody so famous like a plain girl like me?

“How old are you now Hana?”asked Seung Ri. “Aiish, you shouldn’t ask your noona that, maknae. Noona is very old now. I am 21 and is going to turn 22 this year on November 18. Aigoo, life goes by really fast.” I answered realizing I was already turning 22 soon.  A little disappointed, G-D answered a little surprised, “Wah! You’re my noona?!” “Ahh Ji Yong, were you thinking of dating your noona?”Tae Yang asked teasingly. “Shut up!” GD yelled wanting to run away from embarrassment.     

 “Don’t come near me! I’ll jump if you do.” I slowly moved my foot off the edge. No floor rested below my left foot. The end was near and I could no longer take in the fact that life could be so dark. He tried moving closer and immediately I jumped without thinking. He ran and tried to grab on to me but it was too late. “Noooooooooooooooooooo”! I caught a glimpse of his face and it was in agony. I regretted jumping off but there was no longer a way to turn back. Everything was over. “Cut!” The director screamed. "Good job Kim Hana and Choi Seung Hyun." “Arigato!” I bowed deeply to the director and the recording cast.

I was in Japan filming a music video with Big Bang. I was a big fan of them and loved them so much. My favorite member was T.O.P, the oldest member of group. He was the same age as me so it was easier to talk to him. I went back to the dressing room to get changed so I could go out and eat dinner. “Ahhhh Japanese food.” I thought to myself. I heard a knocking at my door and I ran to answer it.

“Hello…..Hana, would you like to go out and eat with us? If you do, dress up nicely because we are going to go to a high class restaurant.” asked, a deep voiced T.O.P. I couldn’t believe my ears. T.O.P from Big Bang was asking me to eat with him and Big Bang. I was excited and quickly blurted out, “Yes I would love to!” He chuckled and walked away. I shut the door quickly and my knees began to become weak and fell to the floor. Can you believe it? I was invited to eat with them. I wanted to scream loud! Just the sight of him made me want to faint. Those sexy eyes and that deep and mysterious voice, gave me goose bumps down my arms and all over my body.

I quickly got up and washed my face and got rid of any make-up I had on. I wanted to look refreshed and natural. Putting a Victorian styled white button up shirt I slid on a high waist black pencil skirt. I styled my outfit with a silver rose necklace and wore black strapped up heals.

I walked out of my dressing room and saw that all the members of Big Bang were waiting for me. They were like angels from heaven. Everything around them was a blur and they seemed as if they were glowing.

“Ahh. Thank you for inviting me to go out and eat with you guys.” I bowed to them. “It was of hyung’s idea.” Dae Sung said with glee looking at G-Dragon, with his smiling face. I looked over at T.O.P and saw his cheerless facade. Blushing and pulling down his grey beanie which nearly covered half of his face, G-Dragon hit Dae Sung’s stomach with his elbow. *cough cough* “Hyung!” Dae Sung said glaring at the Kwon Leader. I stared in disbelief. Why would GD invite me….wait does that mean he likes me? No Way. It can’t be. Nah! He wouldn’t like a plain girl like me. I was just thinking too much of it.